Suicide Is Not Normal

Your actions put you in the limelight.
My senses are heightened as
I recognize this behavior.
I try to offer a warm embrace instead you push me away.

Habitually, you run to isolation.
Chased there by fear of the light,
Not wanting any piece of you exposed,
As you cope through being scared and shaken,
Wondering how you can get through one more night.

Yet, in shadows I quietly pursue
Seeing that the temptation to self destruct is making you sway.
I want to be there to break the fall.
Actually, I want to keep you from falling at all.

You collapse into a dark corner’s embrace.
I see a familiar glint of silver.
My heart quickens.
Lunging from the darkness,
I grab your hand just as you start to bring crimson.

Suicide doesn’t take away your pain,
it gives it to someone else.
I know how you can be led here. To this place.
I know it’s not really what you want,
you just see no other way.

You run from the Light. However in this moment I will boldly show it.

James 4:2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.

It is not normal to want to kill yourself. 

Ephesians 5:29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.

I think you’ve sat at all wrong campfires
Taking to heart all the wrong stories.
So much that you’ve let it wax your heart so cold.

One of the questions you must ask yourself, is suicide really enduring to the end?

Matthew 24:13 But the one who endures to the end will be saved.

I cannot complete you. I cannot make you see what you refuse to look at. I can’t reach in and take all the anger and hurt you carry and crush it in my hands. I wish. The important thing is I know someone who can. These are His words to us.

Matthew 11:28  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Psalm 43:5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Romans 15:13  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Psalm 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted, and he delivers those whose spirit has been crushed.

As I finish reading these to you, I notice around us, it seems that darkness is slowly stepping away.
Your tears begin to stop flowing.
And the glint first held in a blade is now seen as that start of a sparkle in your eyes.

Hope has arrived.

I step back to allow Him room.
As I do He takes her in His arms and begins loving her back to life.




Chaos Welcomed

We are creatures of comfort and to each one of us that means something different.

From the ages of 6-11 I dealt with sexual abuse. At age 12, rape. From the ages of 13-19, I was a total mess, suffering with at times, extreme PTSD to the point I was suicidal. 

Chaos and inner turmoil were just the norm. 

At age 19, I met a man, who is still my man (married 20 years in December) who brought stability and protection into my life. Something I seriously didn’t know how to handle. You get used to the chaos. In its odd little way, it becomes a safe harbor because it’s all you know. 


But let me tell you, sweet one, were never meant to go through traumatic things, let alone remain there in the ashes.

You can rise above the pain and heal. No, it is not by any means… easy. But if you want it bad enough, it is so possible. You just need strong accountability partners and for me, it was my Savior, Jesus Christ and my husband.

Don’t feel sorry for me nor pity me. I am an Overcomer through God’s Grace and my husband’s love. 

I just want others to know your life does not end at the abuse unless you let it. I am here if you need a friend, sweet one.