Lost: Childlike Spirit

Do you ever have one of those days where you seem a bit distant? You find yourself wanting to isolate and be left with the thoughts waiting to be processed in your heart and mind?

Today is a day like that for me.

When is the last time you remember feeling great excitement for something?

As a child when it came to spending the night with a friend, going camping and braving whatever the wilderness offered, that feeling you would get when riding horses (carefree), shooting guns, mud fights, night tag, Christmas mornings, vacations. It seemed so much easier to be excited and energized. It seems as our young hearts fade that these giddy emotions only come in waves.

Do our experiences and the obtaining of wisdom cause our childlike spirit to quieten? Is it meant to work like that? I want to go back to the place of facing something new. I want to experience the exhilaration of a ‘first time.’

This song Waves by Dean Lewis, I happened across for the first time today. It fits perfectly into what I am trying to convey in my writing.

Perhaps I’ve let the world slowly creep in and become a cancer to this spirit I am seeking, to the one I had. I hear others often say, “I’m too old to do that anymore.” “I am too old to be so carefree, Ive seen alot in this life and I am tired.” “I am too old to play.” “I am too old to dress like that.” Maybe I have let this world dictate how I should act too much.

Roman 12:2 states, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” I believe a Spirit keeps its childlike momentum when in the presence of its Father. Makes sense.

I have seen many grown adults when in the presence of their parents become childlike again. I have observed the behavior many times. I personally don’t have parents I can come to like that. I see my mom rarely but when I do get the chance, I do tend to act like a child again because I know she accepts me. She makes me feel young. And I think coming in God’s presence can be a key to resurrecting this childlike spirit I crave so much. So I will pursue.

Yearning To Be Whole

Solitude breeds thought which brings forth perspective. 

He is heard in a still small voice, a gentle whisper, yet we search for the audibly, louder signs. 

He is felt on the gentle caress of a breeze, the solstice of a nighttime walk, yet we pay no attention. 

All day long we run the rat-race chasing things of little importance in hopes of having these gaping holes inside of us filled. We want to know there is a purpose for us. We yearn to be whole. Complete.

All around us negativity and fear is blossoming like sunflowers in the fields too numerous to count. Our world has changed a lot. We are looking at things square in the eyes that we hoped we would never have to experience in our lifetime. Pandemics, self quarantine, riots, incredible storms, murder, and lack of morals seem at an all-time high and so close to home. We want peace. We want harmony. We want security. 

I sit here and this chapter comes to my mind. Slowly I read and reread its content. 

“As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately. “Tell us,” they said, “when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?”  Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you.  For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and will deceive many.  You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come.  Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places.  All these are the beginning of birth pains.   “Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me.  At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other,  and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people.  Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold,  but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.  And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.   “So when you see standing in the holy place ‘the abomination that causes desolation,’   spoken of through the prophet Daniel—let the reader understand—  then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains.  Let no one on the housetop go down to take anything out of the house.  Let no one in the field go back to get their cloak.  How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers!  Pray that your flight will not take place in winter or on the Sabbath.  For then there will be great distress, unequaled from the beginning of the world until now—and never to be equaled again.   “If those days had not been cut short, no one would survive, but for the sake of the elect those days will be shortened.  At that time if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Messiah!’ or, ‘There he is!’ do not believe it.  For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect.  See, I have told you ahead of time.   “So if anyone tells you, ‘There he is, out in the wilderness,’ do not go out; or, ‘Here he is, in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it.  For as lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man.  Wherever there is a carcass, there the vultures will gather.   “Immediately after the distress of those days  “ ‘the sun will be darkened,  and the moon will not give its light;  the stars will fall from the sky,  and the heavenly bodies will be shaken.’    “Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth   will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory.  And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.   “Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near.  Even so, when you see all these things, you know that it  is near, right at the door.  Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened.  Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.   “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son,   but only the Father.  As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.  For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark;  and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.  Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left.  Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.   “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come.  But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into.  So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.”

Matthew 24:3‭-‬44 NIV”

I encourage you to seek comfort in these words, to rest assure that the world may be surprising us left and right but God is not surprised.

Hold on my brothers and sisters. Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning.

Suicide Is Not Normal

Your actions put you in the limelight.
My senses are heightened as
I recognize this behavior.
I try to offer a warm embrace instead you push me away.

Habitually, you run to isolation.
Chased there by fear of the light,
Not wanting any piece of you exposed,
As you cope through being scared and shaken,
Wondering how you can get through one more night.

Yet, in shadows I quietly pursue
Seeing that the temptation to self destruct is making you sway.
I want to be there to break the fall.
Actually, I want to keep you from falling at all.

You collapse into a dark corner’s embrace.
I see a familiar glint of silver.
My heart quickens.
Lunging from the darkness,
I grab your hand just as you start to bring crimson.

Suicide doesn’t take away your pain,
it gives it to someone else.
I know how you can be led here. To this place.
I know it’s not really what you want,
you just see no other way.

You run from the Light. However in this moment I will boldly show it.

James 4:2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.

It is not normal to want to kill yourself. 

Ephesians 5:29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.

I think you’ve sat at all wrong campfires
Taking to heart all the wrong stories.
So much that you’ve let it wax your heart so cold.

One of the questions you must ask yourself, is suicide really enduring to the end?

Matthew 24:13 But the one who endures to the end will be saved.

I cannot complete you. I cannot make you see what you refuse to look at. I can’t reach in and take all the anger and hurt you carry and crush it in my hands. I wish. The important thing is I know someone who can. These are His words to us.

Matthew 11:28  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Psalm 43:5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Romans 15:13  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Psalm 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted, and he delivers those whose spirit has been crushed.

As I finish reading these to you, I notice around us, it seems that darkness is slowly stepping away.
Your tears begin to stop flowing.
And the glint first held in a blade is now seen as that start of a sparkle in your eyes.

Hope has arrived.

I step back to allow Him room.
As I do He takes her in His arms and begins loving her back to life.




COVID And The Paradigm Shift

I would have to say COVID 19 has probably brought about connection and reassurance as well as an urgency in my life. 

I say connection because for my family and I, COVID 19 has served as a positive reinforcement to establish a more genuine, authentic family bond. 

I am sad that COVID 19 has caused so many deaths, bred fear, conjured up uncertainty, stress and many other negative emotions. This is life as we know it living among the dying. Everything  here is so temporal.  What we thought would never happen in our lifetime has happened. Event after event we are either left with questions or answers. This is why I say for me COVID 19 has brought reassurance. 

COVID 19 has been a paradigm shift for me. My way of living and thinking is forever changed. For 4 months, we’ve been home together with very little outside influences or distraction, forced to reconnect with one another, learn how to communicate better, give each other space, slow down our pace, take time as we do devotions to let it soak in, and be a stronger family than ever before.

Life before COVID felt hectic. There never seemed to be time to relax. To meditate. To soak things in like God’s Word, nature, and the simple moments which really are the best of moments. 

We still work and do school. It is not perfect, but it is fairly productive and good.  We’ve been cleaners for 20 years and I will seriously state that it’s nice to see people actually use the soap, paper towels, and sanitizers. We stock those supplies much more frequently than prior to COVID. Though we use masks and gloves in each place, we are beyond blessed to have been able to keep on working through this pandemic. We are deemed essential oddly enough. 

My  study time has been much more real. I have quiet time that is actually (usually) quiet – and I can devote real time to it.  Most days I have so much more time to think, to listen, to process, and to discover.  I am discovering the good gifts that God has given me and my family. More than anything, I am overwhelmed by God’s goodness at every turn.  He overwhelms me with His goodness. 

Fear is a faithless coward and has no place in our lives as believers.  Fear and worry have no seat at our table though they are at the door constantly seeking entry.  We are here because God wants us here, right now, for His purpose in this pandemic. 

COVID 19 wants you to isolate, stock up, and take care of your own first.  Let us instead look to Him first, while we also take care of others.

I believe also there is an urgency to seek out the lost. God makes it very clear in His Word  that this world as we know it will fade away. Wars, disease, and apocalyptic events will unfold. Whether it’s in our lifetime or time to come, COVID may just be the catalyst that gets our mindsets in order. 

What if He would have come back mid-March? Would you have been ready? How about those you love around you? Would they have been ready? This is where urgency resonates for me. I want to be sure my answer to all those questions is, “Yes, I am and they are ready, for His return.” 

Daily, this song resonates nonstop in my head, “Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God. It chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the 99.  I couldn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away. Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God.”

“The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?” Psalm 118:6

An Era Of Brokenness

This song is one of my favorites and I found it fitting for this writing. Enjoy!

It is unique how a thought can seed in one’s heart and slowly start to arise creating a writing such as this. In all I write I know it is not of my ability as I am encouraged as well by its content. Many thoughts run in and out of my mind but it seems few take root like this one. Some create an atmosphere and family plan in raising and nurturing my family, in managing our business and farm; some become original quotes and even yet, some become much deeper than that. It is a thought that raises from my core. Something I’ve chewed on awhile.

Around me events continue to happen, summoning me to draw out this pen and paper and let this thought extend to a world of those willing to hear it.

I understand the process by which the Bible was written where a man’s heart was led and inspired to write God-ordained content. I am sure each one would comment on just a thought taking root and it growing through their core until it had to be let out. Spoken. Written. I wish I could sit and have coffee with them and talk.

Since March life has been full of brokenness. Now before one thinks I am writing some sad-poor-pitiful-me piece, bear with me. I did mention I am encouraged by it. Bear with me.

COVID-19 hit and our world reacted. My initial observation was the massive surge in fear leading to panic. I thought back to 9/11 and recall the same reactions yet with COVID being a global issue, fear tends to be breeding excessively; needlessly. Security is broken–yet have we truly ever been secure?

I am beyond blessed in my friendships. I love my friends deeply. An observation I have made of late is that all of them–and I mean all–are suffering trials of varying degrees. Job loss, health issues, relational struggles, supply shortages, isolation, depression, and tons of soul searching. They all have brokenness–yet have we truly ever been without blemish?

Our family has dealt with a lot of tangible brokenness. It has been nothing but repair after repair. As I shake my head, each thing we’ve fixed feels like it has led to three more breaking down.

It started with an oil leak in the Kia: a seal in the engine needed replaced. It was taken to a mechanic and fixed. Then the radiator started leaking and it got replaced.

Our home AC unit went out and we had to replace the motor and blower wheel–this fix was extensive. The humidity was not a kind helper. We were hot and in being amateurs, it took us a while. I can say should we have to do that again, we will be pros.

On the farm we had a cow bust out a tail-light with her head. Our hay isn’t getting cut in the timeframe we want it to as a major mechanical breakdown has hindered the process. It’ll get done, just not as soon as we had hoped.

The lever to the three-point hitch on the tractor busted and needed repair. The AC in the tractor went out. We were going to have our HVAC man come fix it but decided to buy the equipment and do it ourselves. Amidst brokenness we are learning self-sustaining skills.

There was a serious wreck on the highway that destroyed our mailbox. However, this repair is made with special prayers. We won’t be petty about replacing this nor will we complain as a young man almost lost his life. I wish the mailbox would have been the only damage rendered. Mailboxes in our area have a short lifespan. It’s annoying having to replace it often but it will never be superior to someone’s well-being.

We are still praying for this young man to make a full recovery. He has endured several surgeries and has a lot of therapy to handle, but given his outcome already it’s obvious he has the Higher Power by his side which brings comfort.

As if all of this was not enough, our cleaning in our facilities has gotten much more aggressive. Heavy sanitizing, masks, gloves. Harboring a little fear of catching COVID that seems to want to manifest itself but we won’t let it. Our cleaning business is our livelihood. It’s a business my husband and I manage well as it has allowed our family to be together and has always provided for us financially. It is a gift.

Perhaps our van was paying attention to all that was going on. Perhaps our vehicles aligned with each other in the parking lot and conspired to defeat the human race because the van has pitched a fit.

First, while taking the Kia to the shop the window fell in the door. The regulator broke. My husband called me to make an appointment to get it fixed and I did. We have also had issues with the van eating through fan belts and the light is on for the sensor in the tires so I thought I’d kill three birds with one stone.

We took our van to our mechanic and left it for the day. The receptionist called reporting the damage. The window repair would be $280. The reason for our belt-eating issue was a damaged harmonic balancer and was quoted $189. Then she mentioned the sensors in the tires. Now the only thing these sensors do is tell you your tires are low on pressure. I double-checked that I understood this correctly. So when she quoted me $522 with $98 for labor just for the sensors I declined. The van is a 2011 with over 170,000 miles. I was taught to use a tire gauge before sensors were such a big thing. It just didn’t make sense to get that repair. She said they’d get right on it. 

We picked up the van and by Thursday it was headed back on a tow truck. No, it was not our mechanic’s fault. On Wednesday night at 11:30 we were heading home from a cleaning job. When we turned the van on (I was driving) there was a high whine, then a low growl and a pop. We thought since the harmonic balancer was new, maybe it was adjusting. The van had made similar noises before and I felt no difference in its driving or steering. Coming to a stop at a stop sign, a horrible rubber smell was evident. An old truck had pulled off the highway besides us so that assumption was made that it was that truck since we didn’t smell it for long after. We pulled out on the highway and about one mile down the road, our van battery light comes on–and stays on. Usually it just flashes if the battery is low, but we just had a new battery put in. My husband looks it up on the phone as I am driving and says, “Don’t slow down; just get home.”

The driving of the van was fine. I turned off everything electronic I could; the AC and the radio. Nothing felt wrong. Yet. Everyone in that van was praying we’d get home safely. We were twenty minutes away. By God’s grace we got to our driveway and home. I turned the van off, popped the hood, and out billowed smoke. We were sure our alternator had just died. My husband couldn’t get the van to start back up. We were glad to be home. Tomorrow would be another day of repairs which seemed to be the case lately.

Early Thursday morning a tow truck was called (which our insurance covered 100%). Friday I get a call and the sweet receptionist seemed down. She confirmed it was the alternator but added, “That pop you heard was the computer system and fuse box, it fried. It will need fixed, and that’s $1,280.” Now I understood the tone of her voice.

We’ve been in a lot lately for repairs. The harmonic balancer that was fixed prior is not a usual failure. The guy that fixed it had only fixed one other in his nine years there and this situation she said was not usual as the van shouldn’t have run as long. I told her, “We know life works this way; God wanted us home. He got us home. All these repairs–well, they reek. But it is what it is.”

Nothing here lasts. It’s all temporal. We’re being reminded that our job amongst the brokenness is to stay focused upward, to have our hands and heart extended to lift those who fall down, and step by step press on through this boot-camp called life. Brokenness brings perspective. It humbles us. It also allows us to see the true soul in someone. Whether it’s in this life or eternity I cling to Psalms 71:20: “Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.”

Since March God has been rebuilding me and my family. We have been worn down, tested, and scattered thin, but God is restoring us. He is making us better as a family, as friends, and as His children. We have made Him the cornerstone of our lives, and though we tend to avoid brokenness, it should instead be embraced. It’s not something to be ashamed of, like something is wrong with us. Exposing our hearts and admitting our vulnerabilities is nothing but humbling. Given these past circumstances, I see brokenness as beautiful. I see it as fertile soil. I see strength and I am encouraged.

How about you? Are you broken in any way? Care to share?

“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’” – James 4:6 NIV

Let’s Riot! I Get It.

A darkness used to reside within me, a malignant darkness and I became internally furious. I constantly was searching for something that would render relief. I became angry. 

For so much of my life things happened to me that were not my fault, abuse that I could not stop. At the age of 6 until I was 12 I was molested and raped by someone who was supposed to love me. 

6 years of pent-up aggression. 

When we are done wrong, anger is triggered. Sometimes it is dealt with immediately and resolved and at other times it beds itself down deep and festers. Anger is natural. Righteous anger has its place but rioting and hurting the innocent is not righteous anger. Anger that leads to lashing out, looting, hitting, punching, shooting, and killing is not righteous. That type of anger points to a poison. 

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 1 Peter 5:8‭-‬9 NIV

Satan is very keen on the thresholds he can get through. Just as God watches our every move so does Satan. Just as God loves us so much that He sent his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life, Satan uses anything he can against us to bring us darkness and destroy us from the inside out. Suppressed anger is his forte.  He hates you. When you allow the poison to build inside of you, you let darkness enter the world. Evil and Satan has no power over you unless you let them have it. It’s a choice you choose. Whatever pain, whatever abuse you have faced, was not your fault but this decision to be filled with hate is your choice. 

At the age of 12, I was put in the State’s care and in this process I constantly came face to face with adults that would talk me through some poor form of healing. They would tell me how I should behave, try to help me cope, tell me how I should feel, and move me from home to home. I felt like the criminal and not like the victim.  I got angry. 

I understand to a point, the desire to riot. When so much pain gets packed down inside of you and it comes wave after wave with no relief, you’re like a volcano needing to vent. However, like the volcano you put others at risk. 

Same thing goes when you fail to heed instructions and maintain self-control. Eventually enough rebellion heaps a load of consequences you weren’t looking for and you find yourself expelled from relationships and facing we punishment. 

I had my rioting. I let Satan fill me with dark anger. I’ve had my rebellion. I’ve acted out selfishly.  I’ve danced with my anger and have burned bridges. And I will say not an ounce of what I did brought relief at all. My insides are scarred.

I have learned the rage in me wasn’t me seeking justice but wanting vengeance. The Lord makes it clear. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:18‭-‬21 NIV 

I realized I had a heart issue and dropped the vengeance seeking and step by step I sought the Lord.

To the one who is on the verge of volcanic explosion, I ask for just a moment of your time. That hurt that you harbor, it wasn’t your fault. The constant attack again and again… you were so young. You weren’t meant to handle a load like that. We live in a sick world and sick things happen but does it really make sense to continue making a mess of things? 

You need relief? I totally get that. It’s like a poison in your veins and you want to bleed it out. You want to be free. You want reconciliation. You want justice. You want acceptance, to be understood. You want relief from painful things that run in your mind non-stop. I get it. 

I started cutting myself and swallowing pills. I had sex at a very young age trying to find something to alleviate all the pain I held in. I had a kid at the age of 15 and had to grow up super fast. For 4 years I did the best I could and got nowhere. 

People will never fill you. Rioting will never cure you nor justify the wrong you’ve endured. You instead of being a victim, become a criminal. Justifying your actions by making excuses of ‘being hurt first’ only prolongs the freedom you seek. 

Let’s be real. 

There’s not a single human on the face of this Earth that has never made a mistake. We are not in a position to judge as we all have things we’ve done wrong. We can’t say or rightfully feel what we went through merits the right to do whatever we want. If that’s the case then whoever abused you… had the right to make that decision.

Rioting solves nothing. It’s like a bad hangover, it finds you feeling worse when it’s over. 

2020 has been a year unlike one we’ve seen maybe ever, in our lifetime. We are to be socially distant. Some of us have lost our jobs and are struggling pretty hard. Our lives have all been changed by something we can’t fix. We are tired of oppression. We want to be heard. We want change.  

No one on the face of this earth can make what you’re going through any better. They can give you a friendship to help you get through it, but they can’t heal it.

But I know someone who can. I know someone who has been poor, misunderstood, spat upon, slapped, beaten, mocked. Someone who has faced heartaches you nor I could fully understand. I still don’t and I’ve known him 20 years. 

John 17 reveals His heart. He prayed for you. Hebrews 9: 24-28 states why He came to Earth in the first place. 

You’re not the only one who carries a heavy burden. You’re not the only one. 

In sharing this with a brother of mine, he added some thought that added even more substance to what I have written. I will share. He commented,  “We are each one shaped and molded by our experiences of life to be left with a void unique only to us. We all seek to fill the void inside of us and each one of us expresses our need to be complete in different ways, anger, silence, laughter, over-attachment, you name it.

The issue is the process to create the void was so unique to each and everyone of us. The void is like a snowflake, one of a kind, never to be duplicated again. This void can only be filled by the Master Carpenter who makes the perfectly shaped piece crafted specifically for you. In every instance perfectly matching your failures, success, laughter, and disappointments to give you completeness to the point that forgiveness is a possibility. Forgiveness for who? …

Well, that’s just like a snowflake.”

We all have messed up in some form or fashion (Romans 3:23) We all need our hearts to align with God to get the healing we seek. The Bible speaks often of a contrite heart. In Isaiah 66:2, the Lord says, “These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word.

Then from there God starts the healing on the inside of the heart. Rioting and anger will never bring you justice.

You’re not the only one who carries a heavy burden. You’re not the only one. 

Mr. Frosty Bear

December 7, 2019 is a date I will forever remember. It was a Friday afternoon about 6pm. My family and I were cleaning the vet’s office. In the back room as I went to get the broom, I seen this tiny little white ball looking up at me. He had his toenails caught in the towel he was sleeping on and could not move around very well.

I do not usually open the cages to interact with the pets, mainly because I fear some rabid animal ripping my face off, lol. Yet, this one had all my attention.

I carefully detached the towel from his nails and held him in my hand. I felt so full of joy that I wanted to cry. He cuddled against my chest. I loved on him and put him back in his cage. Instant bond.

In my heart being unable to handle his isolation I contacted the vet and said, “Please tell me that little white puppy needs a home.” I honestly felt it was a long shot. Who on Earth would not want this little guy?!

To my surprise he answered, “If Crystal has not found a home for it, it is yours. I figured you would see it.”

Are you for real?!

Collage 2019-12-23 15_21_53 (1)
Pure Blood Maltese; Mr. Frosty Bear

Saturday morning had me at the vet at 11am picking this little guy up and bringing him home and though he has been an adjustment and we have had our trials with him, he is nothing short of a blessing and we feel he was born just for us.

 

IMG_20200503_160313 IMG_20191225_192253

 

It has been 5 months and I have never experienced such love and loyalty. I realize now that this little Maltese was a gift from God. I have had some deep emotional trials lately and the nurturing love this little guy gives is therapeutic. My husband and I both value him more than we ever thought possible. I finally get the dog mom. Our pets do feel like another child. You feel just as responsible and loyal to them as you do your own babies.

 

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Proverbs 12:10 “Whoever is righteous has regard for the life of his beast, but the mercy of the wicked is cruel.”

2020 Adventures – Spring – Post 4

Soil provides such therapy for a burdened soul. I honestly could stay out here in my garden and flower beds forever.

A few treasures I’ve found digging around.

Eastern Tent Caterpillar
Orange Jelly Fungi
Black Walnut Seedling. It looks alien to me.
Black Walnut 🌱
What type of pupa would you call this? I have looked it up and find it to be a wasp or a moth baby. Not sure. Do you have an idea?

2020 Adventures – Spring – Post 3

It seems the rain has became quite fond of our area. I try so hard not to complain. My garden plants are taking these storms and cooler temperatures like a trooper but I am not sure how long they can endure. They are tender little plants and too much of a good thing, becomes well, a bad thing.

I find myself constantly checking on these little seedlings and telling them to, “Hang in there, better days are coming full of sun.”

2020 Adventures – Spring – Post 2

The seedlings need a new place to spread their roots and grow. See what I did there? They can’t grow wings and fly. That would be silly.

Green Beans and Cucumbers in their early moments.
Seedlings need a new home.

So, it’s off to the garden. *Sigh* I could stay in the garden all day.

Though it is not very appealing at the moment and the seedlings seem microscopic in the distance, I know new life is being created. I step back and look at the work thus far and dream of what the garden will look like come July. It makes me all giddy!

In the mean time these little plants will need nourishment, tending, and even protection from storms, bugs, even other animals. I keep in the front of my mind, though I plant the seed and tend to it, the Ultimate Gardener, brings forth the harvest. My job is to plant. His job is to bring it to fruition. Yet, a harvest can’t happen if I am unwilling to participate.

When I am gardening my heart and soul reflects over my life. I process thoughts like, “If I can love the tending of a garden as much as I do (even all the frustrations and sometimes seedling deaths and replanting) how much more God must have loved His garden in Eden. And it wasn’t the garden itself per say but the quenching of Adam Eve and the animal’s dietary needs.”

I also think, “Life is like a garden. It’s full of challenges, responsibility, growth, even death…as the plant has to grow well enough to produce a flower and that flower must die to bring forth fruit and once it’s duration of fruit bearing is over, it begins to cease existing.” Nature moves me. This time of year I would rather be outside at any point than indoors.

What do you find enjoyable about garden? Which stage is your favorite starting seeds, weeding and tilling soil, planting seedlings, watching it all grow, or the harvest?