I overheard her say, yet not in a tone audible, “Am I enough? Why doesn’t he love me anymore.”
You could read it in her body language.
This struggle is real. When a guy pursues a mate and he does all he can to woo her, to win her affection and by doing so they get to a place she commits to choosing him as her life mate, her husband, it’s such a beautiful pursuit.
Yet the pursuit can lead to an ash pile soon if the now husband or wife no longer treats it’s mate in the same manner as they first met. Hopefully the relationship deepens and intensifies in intimacy. Marriage is designed to be like that. In many cases though, laziness settles in, overloaded work agendas, and a lack of making your mate a priority causes such a deep anxiety to build. More times than not, this feeling gets shoved down. One doesn’t want to mention it to the other as, quite frankly, they feel they shouldn’t have to say anything. And in a perfect world, you wouldn’t have to.
Marriage is like gardening. In order to see something beautiful you have to diligently nurture, prune, water, weed and even dress for the occasion. And like gardening, if you fail to do any of those things, death creeps in.
Marriage is hard. Ask any couple that has been committed for awhile. You will hear of the struggles they fought through. Admire them. Because they chose to fight for their marriage instead of quitting. It’s not easy. The marriage union grows until death does it part …that’s the original design. And for those who choose to tough it out, they will say, “WHAT A RIDE!”
Husband, pursue your wife like the days before you asked for her hand.
Wife, attract his attention. Nuture his heart. Build him up and support him just like you did when you tried to turn his head the first time.
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Ephesians 5:22-33 NIV
How do you continue to grow in your marriage? What do you do that makes the bond stronger?