To the momma who gave her up,
I just want to tell you how angry I am. Thank you for not valuing her as you should have, for stuffing her in corners of neglect because you had yourself to serve instead.
Thank you for not even even considering for a second how your actions would even affect her years later. I am angry that one can find a child so easy to rid of.
BEing a victim of abandonment among others things, I am much different than others. I can relate to her on levels many cannot. I’ve been through those trenches and have fought through waves of anger.
And right now this little girl projects and I am her target. THey say you hurt the ones you love most, I suppose. She can be defiant. She is very manipulative but you taught her this. She has had to self-preserve no matter the cost in the past. You taught her she cannot trust anyone. You taught her she is easy to give up on and to give away.
If it wasn’t for Christ’s example and my own experiences with pain, this may have been all too much to bare. But I get it. I see her pain. I have felt that pain. I have been this little girl.
I wanted to know no matter how bad I acted that love would still find me at the end of any given day. That love was not merited favor based on an action or behavior.
Her anger is pretty intense at times and the venom coursing through her veins, painful. Sometimes I am at a loss to help her through but have come to understand she needs proof this is forever. So I hold on tight. I fight right beside her through the waves as they come her way. And if she was to fall, I’d keep those dark monsters that reside in her mind away from her heart.
I will not give up on her. She is my daughter and I love her with all my heart. Her and I are both warrior’s of this life and we will come out of this consumed in such a bond we’ll be inseparable.
So, thank you for not valuing her as you should have, for stuffing her in corners of neglect because you had yourself to serve instead.
For the Momma who chose her.